hell yes lets make some ravioli
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
My dick has a subreddit
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
