she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Randomize
