you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
