note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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