We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
And my parents said I crawled through the house
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
