I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Pants are for mortals
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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