I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
