...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
