I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
