Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Randomize
