Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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