if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
