i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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