He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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