There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
