don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
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