Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
