I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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