Your tits are I can't wait for
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
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