I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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