oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
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