I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
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