u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
i just had sex bonerless
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize
