u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize