I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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