Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Randomize