I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
