And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
