Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Randomize
