Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
