Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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