I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Randomize
