haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
