I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Randomize
