bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
