you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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