This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
home. puking in laundry basket.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I cut my penus on the lid.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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