I hate your face
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Randomize
