Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
