Don't you send me to vm
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
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