I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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