i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
The ass gains better be worth it
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