Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
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