Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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