soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
