My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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