do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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