im gay
i know
yea but for you.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
