the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
