hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
