so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
