Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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