Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
love makes seman taste better
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
