I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
