I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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