I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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