and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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