then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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