I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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