there's paper in my vomit.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
