he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
